A new outlook

The need to stop seeking salvation in the other and the time to stand up on my two feet no matter how long or hard it make take or be.

I realise that I need to start looking at things differently. I need to stop feeling annoyed whenever someone or something puts me in a position that I am extremely uncomfortable in, because that's exactly what the 12 year-old Lynn would do. Sit down, fret, stomp her feet and imagining the whole world is against her.

Instead, I should see it in a different light. An encouraging one. Sure criticism would come not just once or twice..it'll probably come at you and me for the rest of our lives. So why see it in so much negativity? Even as I type this out I'm starting to feel like I'm becoming my dad; ever so positive, ever so inspiring. It's just something that I would not admit and would not say.

I've grown up thinking that someone would always have my back. Sure, I know my family would always be there for me. They always have anyway. But when felt that when I lost that someone many years ago, I've been on a quest to find someone where I could just ..rely on. No matter how hard I tried to deny it, no matter how much I tried to advise myself and people around me against it. I realised that I am back at square-one. Needy.

My brother described this as being "soft". My friends says that its a by-product of being the baby in the family. No matter how much I tried to appear and be independent, I still find myself...needy.

Once in a while I get a knock on my head and wake up thinking how foolish and silly I get for being like that and I would write a blog post saying that I needed a change. HA! Hypocrite!

But that's what I am and I will continue trying to change this silly habit. As of today, yes..I've gotten the knock and I am motivated to make a change. I just wished that I could have the 'knock' more often whenever I decide to take a step back.

Well, I guess it has always my own decision to do so.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Taichung International Flower Festival

So I went to Taichung over for the Internationa Flower Carpet Festival with Melanie (Vicky's cousin) and a couple of her friends. I had no idea that we were going to see the flower show though. I thought we were just gonna go there for some market thing and maybe for some food. Didn't expect to actually be at some flower festival. That said, the festival was not bad; tons of suburban Taiwanese were there and all, the place was PACKED.

We didn't really do much there really other than looking at a sea of flowers. The flowers there were really pretty though :)

Gonna just let the pictures do the talking.

Then for dinner we went to a cottage concept restaurant which was located, literally in the middle of no where! It was between some hill/ mountain and we had to take some crazy winding road just to get there. It's kinda like the Full House Restaurant back in Malaysia. Just that this one, it's has an outdoor garden and the whole place is ...pink (ugh).

My fugly handwritting

Yes, just before I sleep.. I thought I should let you see my progress in class.

....Introducing my fugly writing. Even my mom laughs at me. True story. She called me today just to tell me that my handwriting is exactly or probably worse than those kids studying Mandarin in elementary school. Cis!

The is going to be the best 6 months of my life

Or at least I'll try to make it the best six months I've ever had!

I have been procrastinating about updating my blog about my whereabouts as you've noticed yet again :D I thought I should break the very bad habit by updating what I did today and I 'might' just start updating about what I did before. Pardon the pun.

I'll start off by saying I'm sitting in my room in Tamsui, Taipei, Taiwan. To those of you who's been updated of where I've been you probably know that I've been travelling a lot. To those of you that are not updated; no, I'm not at two/three/four places at the same time. I actually wrote an essay worthy description about where I've been for the past 2 months but I thought I should spare you by giving you a summarized version instead. So..here goes.

August 30

• (Melbourne > Klang)

mid-September

• (Klang > Perth > Klang > Melaka > Klang)

October

• (Klang > Melbourne > Klang)

November

• (Klang > Penang > Klang)
• (Klang > Taipei > Kaohsiung > Taoyuan > Taipei > Chiayi [Alishan] > Taipei)

I recently just graduated from Monash in October and since the Psychology postgrad intakes are only offered at the beginning of each year, I had time, and by time, I mean a whole damn lot of time to spare in between. I work/studied (free/forced labor), lazed around, went travelling and now I'm currently enrolled for the 3 month Mandarin Course at NTNU (National Taiwanese Normal University) or better known as Shida 師大.

I know, why study Mandarin in Taiwan and not in China? Why study overseas when I can study Chinese in Malaysia? I lost count of the number of times people have asked me the exact same question.

I'll answer the more obvious question; why Taiwan and not Malaysia?

I had the opportunity to learn Mandarin in a Chinese populated country. If I studied Mandarin in Malaysia I WILL only speak Mandarin in class and probably to the auntie/ uncle when I'm ordering food. I know because I did some Mandarin course over in the language centre in Klang before when I was younger. Studying overseas meant that I am forced to speak in Mandarin to everyone that I meet. Almost everything here is written in Mandarin and it'll be a constant reminder for me to learn those characters faster if I want to survive happily in Taiwan (think about the food and shopping that I'm missing out now NOO). Even though for now, I could only second/third guess what everyone is saying but I know I'll get there soon enough.

Why Taiwan (traditional Mandarin) and not China (simplified Mandarin)?

Because it's more convenient and I suppose safer for me to study in Taiwan because my sister in law is in Taiwan for the next 6 months. Anyways, it doesn't matter to me whether its simplified or traditional, I don't even know either of the Chinese characters anyway! My goal is to be able to hold a damn long and deep conversation in Chinese and recognizing/writing Mandarin characters comes in as a bonus.

I had the opportunity, why waste it? Life is very short. Going through 5 deaths this year has just justified the fact that the moment we were born into this world, we are doomed to die. It's just a matter of time. When opportunity reveals itself, grab it.

Haaa, sorry for the sudden 180 turn on the mood of the supposedly, cheerful blog post. Don't know why my mind just wandered off that way as I was typing. Oh well, least you know what I write here is more or less what I'm thinking at the moment and not you know, all screened through and edited like how you would do for research essays :)

Anyways here's one of the few graduation photos that I've got in the mail in Melbourne. Brother e-mailed me these photos just so I could get a sneak preview :)

A new start.....again!

Was just talking to my friends (Kar Yee, Crystal, Michelle and Ai Lin) about going back to blogging a few days ago just to document whatever that's been going on with my life. Funny, a lot has been going on for me this year and since I'm becoming more and more forgetful, blogging is one of the way to keep these thoughts/memories/experiences down.

Not to mention, I felt that I would express myself better back when I was blogging throughout my Foundation year towards my 2nd year in uni. I guess everything just died down after that. Probably because I was more involved in student assoc. etc. that I would rather update the club blog, do whatever that I need to do for MASCA and complete my assignments whenever I had the time. Man, those years of 'slogging' seems pretty distant now. First signs of aging, when you reminiscence the past. DAMN.

Also, I decided to transfer my previous posts into another blog because I didn't want to be reminded of the silly thoughts that I had years ago. I know it defeats the purpose of having a blog, so I transferred those post to another blog so I could take a peek at it for when I'm in a very depressing mood and needed something to laugh at or get even more depressed by.

Oh well.

Cheers to the revamped blog! (Hopefully a revamped Lynn, Khoo, Verawathy, whatever.. too!)

More posts to come, with pictures! HUZZAH!